April 28, 2022

THE LIGHT – PHOTO & FILM | TEST POST 5

Test

It can be such a relief, such a sigh of release to give yourself the permission to celebrate your day the way that will make you happiest.

Between the excitement of getting engaged - whether you planned it together or were completely caught by surprise (congratulations by the way!) - the celebrations, engagement shoot, the endless suggestions, wedding planning, guest list curating you can actually forget to take a moment to think what you actually want from your wedding..

Just take a breath. Take a moment to breath and feel excited for what is coming up. Envision your dream - how you want to feel, the pace, the environment, the feeling you want to carry with you on your day.

From here my biggest suggestion for this is write out your priorities are (mine were flowers, photos, short ceremony and good beer).

Your perfect scenario - let your mind go wild for a sec, no external factors or stresses and try to pin point what you want.

Got it? Good! These things now become non-negotiable and everything else works around that. This includes family pressures, your budget (allocating budget to the things you value and less to the things that aren't deal breakers for you), guest lists, location, time of day, everything.

Here is what can be the deal breaker - or deal maker for some - and can really hold people back from having the elopement or wedding they want - the guest list. Ah who to offend, who to leave out. When it gets to this point in your planning (which should happen pretty early on in the planning process - check here for more help in the planning process) things have the potential to get pretty intense.

But there is an upside! If by this stage your heart is leading you toward an intimate wedding or even an elopement this actually makes your job sooo much easier! Think about it - a blanket announcement (social media, texts, email, phone call, whatever) saying "You may have heard XXX and I have decided to celebrate our vows with an elopement! We are so excited and so grateful we get to finally be married! Thank you so much to everyone who has already expressed their excitement and congratulated us, it honestly means so much to have your support and love. We look forward to celebrating with you all and meeting you all for the first time as a married couple!!" aaaaand the news is out. Easssy. (Watch this space for more templates for difficult conversations around your wedding, I've got your back.)

HAVE A DAY DREAM

This is so good to get in your head before you begin. You have so many options. You might feel stuck or already on a track toward a certain wedding type but regardless of budget, location, time, family size - the possibilities are abundant. Here are just a few examples -

Venue - a friend's backyard, the restaurant where you had your first date, a park, on the beach, a vineyard, the mountainside, your local 7/11, unused car-park, grandparent's farm..

Music - you know that super talented friend you have - get them to play you down the aisle, did you see a talented busker - find them, have a killer Spotify playlist - spin that, musical yourself - write each other songs, a little bit romantic - get an entire string section

Food, flowers and fur babies, oh my! Follow along for more specific tips in later posts but for now you get it.

you have so many options

So! What should you do?

Things don't have to be done the way they have been done. Everything is adaptable to you and your passions and and budget. What can be the most tricky to settle on are your guests.

Guests - many ways to involve your family and faves - by all means celebrate with everyone you have ever met if that is what makes you happy! Do it - invite every rellie on both sides (and their rellies too) embrace the more the merrier. BUT if the idea of having a sea of faces at your wedding turns you off, the crowd, the bustle aren't your cup of wine and your romantic heart pines for intimate moments with you lover or a wild party with your few besties - you can actually do that. You can have an incredible "rehearsal dinner" style celebration before your private vows. Escape with you lover and fur babies to the mountains and sip beer or hot chocolate and have some cheese for a picnic for two at sunset. Blast some Bowie as you slow dance on the beach.

So with all of these options how do you decide?? First of all, keep reading.

It can be such a relief, such a sigh of release to give yourself the permission to explore these other possibilities, to celebrate your day the way that will make you happiest. If no one has give you that permission yet, I am doing it now.

Dream about what you love - do it on the day, or don't do it.

It actually can be that simple.

it all starts with one RELATIVELY easy step...

so what could be holding you back?

guest list

budget

You've done the dreaming, you've made your list but it just seems too... unconventional maybe? You can't just not invite your third cousin! You can't just not have a 75 minute ceremony, you can't just not have three rounds of starters, mains, cake and dessert for your guests, right?? I think get on the same page as your partner then surround yourself with people who will encourage you to go for the type of day that is blissfully.. you.

I would love to help you with this too, I am a dream enabler from way back! If you want to elope, or have a dinner party on your deck with a thousand candles and a few friends or an afternoon gazing into your lovers eyes OR if you just feel so far away from knowing what you would like, let me know - send an email, a DM and voice message I'm always lurking.

Big families, amazing friends, a dream venue, dream dress are incredible but if they ended up in your non-negotiables list but aren't compatible with you budget something will have to shift. I'm just going to be presumptuous right here and say maybe you don't want to go into debt for your dream day. Especially if there is a chance you could be just as happy with other choices. 
How about a reception "garden party" a few days after or before your intimate wedding - invite all your guests to celebrate with you with drinks and snacks in parkland, a field, throw some beautiful rugs on the ground, throw on your best floral outfits and enjoy your friends and family in a completely no pressure afternoon celebrating your love. 

mindset

After all of this the most important take away is you have permission to have the day you want.

Let me help, I can help you dream, imagine, create and capture your day. Just as you would like it

Step by step elopement / intimate wedding guide, coming your way so soon.

Can you find your dream dress in a pre-loved store, could you see if your family has any vintage pieces you might like and could alter? Could you find a similar dress in a smaller store?

It can be hard to shift perspective especially if your wedding is something you have envisioned for a long time - but it can be so worth it. I would suggest creating an alternate non-negotiable list with items that don't cost anything, things like - must have sunset first dance, must have best friend in wedding party, must write own vows etc and compare the two lists. You are planning for you day but more than that you are planning for your lifetime together and the second list you create will be the things you look back on with love.

It can be hard to shift perspective especially if your wedding is something you have envisioned for a long time - but it can be so worth it